About Origins and Nostalgia

Something that always amuses people that I meet is my accent, no matter if it’s Spanish or English; I’m from nearly nowhere when it comes to my accent. Today I’m going a little personal sharing with you a little bit about my origins and nostalgia. I’ll explain starting from the beginning:

About Origins and Nostalgia

I was born in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I lived there intermittently until the age of 6. At that age, we moved to Venezuela, specifically San Cristobal, Tachira state, where I lived for four years. We moved again to Lagunillas (eastern shore of Maracaibo Lake, Zulia State) where I lived until the age of 16 when we finally moved to Maracaibo (another city in Venezuela). We settled there more permanently. My parents left the country eight years later and I stayed because I wanted to work and practice my profession in which I already had a job in a small Web Design Company.

Above, One of my very best friends in Maracaibo, the kind of friend I can also call my sister.

The next year I got a better job in Caracas (Venezuela’s Capital) and moved there. I was lucky enough to meet my husband at my new job and four years later we decided to move to London. But, when our daughter came into the equation while we were studying English with no job and no income yet, we decided to move to Spain where we lived for almost 2 years.

Spain’s economic situation made it too hard for us to keep going. We love it there and it was a great place to raise our baby, but at some point, we had to choose between paying rent or buying food. So we made the hardest decision to split temporarily and I went to my parent’s house in Oman (Middle East). He stayed there trying to recover economically and eventually to bring us back to Spain.

Things didn’t go our way and what we thought it would be no more than 3 to 6 months turned into 2 years. He couldn’t find a job even having already a legal residence. He went back to Venezuela a few months later. He found a job there and we were searching for possible ways to reunite somewhere away from Venezuela.

My dad (who is actually my step-dad but I consider him my daddy with all my heart) offered us to go with them to Colombia (South America) when his Contact at the time in the Middle East ended. We considered it, I could find a job and bring hubby home. So we did. Since August 2014 I’ve been here. I got lucky and I could get a temporary visa as a Mercosur Country member but that type of visa didn’t last much active for Venezuelans because of border conflicts of reciprocation with Venezuela. That caused my hubby not getting that same visa.

I decided to put all my heart into my design business to not need a job out of home and being able to stay with my girl. The situation between Colombia and Venezuela left us apart again for a few more months.

After many months apart we decided that it was better to try something else out, other than being apart and our girl being so unhappy without her daddy. He came and we are now looking for ways for him to get a visa. It seems like my business is the best way to go. I’m legally creating a local business here so I can make more money and I gave him a beneficiary visa to stay and live here in peace. This is an on-going project that will hopefully go smoothly and we can finally settle and have a home of our own. I so dream about that.

For now, I’m so thankful that I could count on our families. And, despite how hard it is to live in a parents house, we have a roof above our heads, so much love, and help.

Some other factors to be added to all this: My mother is Gocha (from San Cristobal, Tachira, Venezuela, that’s how we call people from there) and her mother’s family is Brazilian, my grandpa is from Los Llanos, my Dad (husband of my mother who raised me as his own) is Colombian and also his whole family. My biological father and his ancestry are from Spain. Can you imagine the mixture?

The amazing thing is that being from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, I’m still so attached to those places I feel are my land. Even though I have not lived much in Brazil, it’s like it’s in my blood. Venezuela has been my home most of my life and gave me the best it could until it wasn’t enough anymore.

Brazil as I just said, it’s in my blood, in my DNA. I miss Brazilian dishes so badly. I can not hear its music because I can barely contain myself to not start dancing {JA !}. I have family that I know well, some just not so much but for some reason, I love sincerely. It is something that is there, immutable. I love everything about that country despite not having the intention to live there and I’m still trying to figure out why.

Above Friends and family that I dear and love so much from Venezuela.

In Venezuela {phew!}, what not to miss from Venezuela? I miss my people, all those friends that became my family when mine left the country. Our gathering together with Sangria Caroreña at home haha! The last-minute, improvised and unforgettable road trips… I miss my work with the good, the bad, tremendous fun and rioting that we made.

I miss the food … hmmm! The food … At Christmas it is torture without my hallaca, my chicken salad, ham bread and New Year’s pork, weird hot dogs known as “asquerositos” (gross LOL), the Nestico’s arepas in Maracaibo, a thick chicha (delicious beverages made with rice), the cachapas (kind of a thick tortilla made with corn), cepillado/brushed (slush) sitting in the car, empanadas and mandoquitas of Monzerratte, Let’s not talk about a patacón (a dish made with plantain) among other things. Weird independence I used to have back then in many ways.

While I do not regret the decisions I’ve made in my life including leaving my country, it doesn’t mean I stopped feeling Venezuelan or that I stopped missing everything that makes me a Venezuelan. I just couldn’t handle the politic, social and economic situation.

I lived in Colombia for almost 3 years, it was a big change since the customs and way of speaking are very different. Even I find it hard not to say Venezuelan colloquial words, I still had so much to learn, however, there we had opened a little place, we met great people that provided us a lot of support and friendship.

After much thinking and ups and downs, we decided that it was time to go back to Spain and give it a second shot. Life there, even though financially is not great, at least socially is way better. The safety is something I can’t deny. I can go out without fear and my girl can play in parks without any danger. Of course, we need to be careful anywhere but at least it’s less likely to have something happening to us there and in Colombia or even Venezuela.

And here we are! We are currently living in Elche, a not-so-small town that belongs to Alicante, Spain. I love it here. We have everything at a walkable distance. My girl’s school is less than 10 minutes walk, my husband’s job is about 8 minutes walking. I have a grocery store right across the street, other 2 about 3-4 block away, drug stores, shopping malls… I mean everything I need plus peace. I barely use my car.

I’m thankful for all the people I’ve met here, all the friends that gave us support when we were returning. Thankful for all the help, love and guidance we’ve got.

We’ve been jumping all around different places and countries but I think we finally found OUR PLACE. I pray that’s true and that we can set roots and grow.

As you can see, I’m from everywhere and nowhere perhaps, but my heart knows where it belongs. I’m very proud of my ethnic mix and my accent Brazilian-Venezuelan-Colombian- and now also Spanish (we must adapt HA!) The truth should be told, in this little body dominates the Venezuelan-Colombian lots, haha and with honor!

I must say it hasn’t been easy. My life has been mostly like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs, moving from place to place as an immigrant. Not always got things as planned, I’ve had to adapt and keep going. Being apart from my family when I was younger staying in Venezuela when they left and then apart from my hubby for 2 years have been the hardest moments of my life. But I do believe that God doesn’t send you challenges you can’t overcome. And here I am with lots of plans and dreams and goals to accomplish. Many times I felt lonely and helpless but thank God I’m so stubborn hahaha.

I know this has been a long post but I wanted to share my ethnic origins for so long! I had done it in Spanish a while ago but lots have happened ever since, so I thought it would be nice to share this now but in English!

I’ll tell you more about my life as an immigrant in another post with more details about our goods and bads in each place we’ve been to.

What do you think? Was this a real mix?? Haha, I would love to know your thoughts in comments!